An unexplained emotion

Love is but an emotion.
An emotion sparked off by nothing except what others claim to be "chemistry" or "fate".
How can anyone trust something that is not founded and can never be explained?

You can call it the miracle of living, to be able to love and be loved. The feeling of sinking yourself so deep into someone can be complete bliss, and at the same time, suffocating.

The moment your loved one leaves your sight and smell, you feel an emptiness inside and around you. No number of phone calls can void that unexplainable sense of loss you feel so deeply. No number of emails or length of online chats can salvage and uplift you. Alone, both are just wandering lost souls searching their way back to each other. It hurts so much, and yet it feels so good. I guess this is what they call "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". The more you hurt, the better the reunion. In a way, I guess we are all masochists of heartache. Suckers for romance.

Almost every romantic flick will have a break-up and make-up scene where the characters are usually locked in a deep embrace and kiss. The feeling of being united with your loved one again is a feeling truly unexplainable. There is nothing there, just an unknown comfort deep inside you and some physical contact, yet some much surfaces from there. Love, joy, comfort, and a slightly sourish feeling in your chest from all the missing that you felt when the other was away. Such is the wonders of love.

I used to crave and embrace the idea of being in love. Something so commonly portrayed in movies, yet so rare to achieve in real life. Is it really that easy to find "the one" in a sea of people? Does life really grant you that lucky chance to meet your destined one albeit your boring daily routine?

I can say that whatever we gather about love from the movies are all hog-wash, yet there have been individual successful relationships that really did sprout off just like a story plot. Who am I to judge love? I am but a supposed romantic who has been jaded through the years of heartbreaks and ironic twists of fate.

My life has been as dramatic as it can get. And the same goes for my love life. My life is not as anyone can imagine, but close friends would know better. Yet no one knows better than that once special man in my life. He was there with me through most of life's nonsensical torments that I had to endure in the crucial six years of my younger days. And he supported me and gave me courage and hope to face them all. Yet, just like the movies, this man got away. All because I wanted him to. If my life was made into a movie, the audience would probably be calling me stupid at this point of the show. Yes, I admit. I am a moron. I know not how to cherish the good.

In my heart of hearts, I am wishing that this WILL turn out like the movies, where the couple eventually get back together and live happily ever after. However, romance flicks nowadays don't really guarantee a happy ending. Me being my stubborn, liberal, new-age self, will probably end up in a revolutionary film and end up with more "interesting" endings other than happily ever after. No doubt it would be less expected and more exciting, but deep in everyone, there is a craving for romance. A life just like the movies. Not mundane or boring, but filled with exciting and heart-skipping moments. A life actually worth living and boasting about.

I just want to fulfill the last chapter of my life by having my happily ever after. Preferably with the one that got away. He who got away with my comfort, confidence and hopes. He who loved me so much that no one else could ever compare. He who is happy without me now. I hate it so much, but yet i cannot help but wish him good luck and good life. He will be in my mind always. Be happy, and be in love.