forgotten...

nude in spotlight

My dear, you have no idea,
how delicious you look to me.
Your bronzed skin
begs to be kissed
and beckons me
to touch,
to caress,
to hold my body close to yours.

You, my sweets,
are my Greek God.

1st year anniversary: random collage

am i your friend?

I don't know where I rank,
or if I'm actually a friend.
I only know I read
and felt my heart break for him.

This boy,
my happy boy,
a friend from long ago.
So different upon meeting again.
So different now.

My dear
it is not your fault
that things turn out this way.
Even my tears are not your cause.

Your sillyness about how God works
and the way your karma comes round,
they make me giggle
and make me fear.

Fearing your neediness,
lonely.
Worrying about your fears,
haunting.

I wish to fly to your side,
and hold you tight.
Tell you the truth and what-nots.
Let you be all emotional with an approving nod.

I wish you would take me
more of a friend
and call me to talk.
Why can't you do so?

it's been a year

it's been a year
since our nicknames showed
on an IRC channel
late into a Saturday night

that same night
our eyes first met
at the coffee shop
where we were to rendezvous

just a year ago
when we first spoke
and i chided you
for only needing a second to get a pack of smokes

a year ago
when we visited Old Changi Hospital
and brave you
strutted right in front of the rest

on the same day last year
we felt something
some sort of connection
with each other

a year later
today
we are married
we have a home

a year
can bring so much difference
to two lives
so inconsequential

365 days
of so much bonding
fighting
loving

8760 hours
of so much kissing
love making
fun and laughter

525600 minutes
of ups and downs
breaks and makes
love and hate

how much change
can a year in your life bring?
plenty
that is

but no matter
how much time
slips by
between you and me

i will love you
i will forgive you
i will understand you
i will want to spend the rest of my years with you

a year of change
in exchange
for more years of happiness
to come

i love you, sweets.

the deed that decided her future

She turned her head around. There he was, just looking out the window. Was he sending her off with his eyes? Or was he just getting a bit of fresh air?

She would never know, because at the back of her mind, she had no intentions of speaking to her ever again. He was condemned to be her history. And she was to be his.

They were two strangers who randomly found each other in cyberspace. They went on a date, followed by mindless sex. No love. No commitments. Just a pure bout of physical connection.

He said he would call again. She intended not to pick up if he did. Halfway through the deed she was already ashamed of herself. She felt like a whore who wasn't even going to be paid.

She told herself that if she was ever going to have sex without love ever again, she would do it as a paid prostitute. And she did.

4th of September

we drove down the expressways
in the sunny Sunday morning light
after breakfast at a coffeeshop
and laughter at our table

taking a turn into the columbarium
to commemorate
not celebrate
mummy's 42 birthday

i almost forgot how old she would be
if not for the fact
that she will always be
20 years older than me

a lone plastic lily
sitting in the tiny metal vase
attached to the side
of my mum's marble home

she stays alone there
every single day
when we visit her
i wonder if she's ok

does she smile when she sees us
prancing around her tomb as if she's alive
talking to her about our recent happenings
showing her how we've lost/gained weight

did you like the flower arrangement?
we picked the flowers for you
daddy, damien, nash and i
the pinks, the whites and the forget-me-nots

sometimes i wish she still had a phone
so we could call and talk
even if just to say hi
it would be quite nice

alas her existence is confined
to that urn of ashes and bones
no hugs
no naggings anymore

i think this is what they mean
by you won't know what you have
until you lose it
and i've lost her forever

happy birthday, mummy.
may you be happy up in heaven.