am i your friend?

I don't know where I rank,
or if I'm actually a friend.
I only know I read
and felt my heart break for him.

This boy,
my happy boy,
a friend from long ago.
So different upon meeting again.
So different now.

My dear
it is not your fault
that things turn out this way.
Even my tears are not your cause.

Your sillyness about how God works
and the way your karma comes round,
they make me giggle
and make me fear.

Fearing your neediness,
lonely.
Worrying about your fears,
haunting.

I wish to fly to your side,
and hold you tight.
Tell you the truth and what-nots.
Let you be all emotional with an approving nod.

I wish you would take me
more of a friend
and call me to talk.
Why can't you do so?