boredom

Boredom.
Suffocated. Jailed.
Outcast. Weirdo. Loner.
Release.

just thoughts

Creation.
The avenue to escaping.

Not with pictures,
but with words.

A gift she never possessed
but tries so hard to display.

A road she wishes to take,
yet sees no path towards it.

A life she wants to lead
with no clue how to start.

A short paragraph of words put together
just to say what she wants to say.

A sharing of thoughts
if anyone was interested.

drugs. you make the decision, not them.

Jezamine's post reminded me of my Social Behavioural Studies assignment on drugs. The comment left by some anonymous government lackey made my blood boil. I just had to leave a comment replying to his.

Just a few points that I have to state:

1) No one forces anyone to take drugs. Everyone has a choice to say no. Unless you were drugged and injected unwilling, I will not accept any other reasons as to why you have illegal substances running through your body.

2) Most commonly, escapism is the reason for drug abuse. To forget their worries, their pain, the situation that they are in. Remember, no one forces them. Someone may have approached them to purchase drugs, but if they had maintained a firm negative stand towards it, NO ONE would have the ability to make them into addicts.

3) Only when there is a demand, will there be a supply. So why is our government hanging this poor Indian man who was just taking orders for marijuana? Go look for the bloody mastermind who is aliasing both sides and hang him instead!

4) Our bloody government should realise that with progression of our society and economy, lifestyles tend to become more liberal. Youngsters go overseas to Australia, America and all over to pursue their studies. In the process of living there, they would be exposed to soft drugs like marijuana (commonly known as "weed", "grass" or "pot") to escape pressures of their school life. Do they come back as drug addicts? No. In fact, many come back as productive, matured young people simply because they have tried whatever it is that the government tries to hard to keep under wraps.

5) Curiosity kills the cat. Show more live examples of suffering drug rehabilitators and let the untainted get a better picture. Are there not enough drug abusers around to start a documentary like such? My detailed research for my project shows that there are way enough cases to compile a whole reality series, but as usual, our government wants to keep everything hush-hush. "Don't let neighbouring countries and interested investors know that we actually have a drug problem too. Shhhh..." How do you plan to scare teenagers out of trying drugs like that???


I do not understand why our government officials always make such controversial decisions as such when they claim to be doing the best for the people of Singapore. If you want to solve the problem, attack the root of the issue, not the branching issues. Just like a tree, if the roots remain, the branches will always grow out again. It is only a matter of time.

Our government has so much to criticise about that I think eventually I'll have to start a whole blog just for them. I have yet appreciated anything they've done except CPF. But since the recent modification of no longer being able to use CPF to pay the deposit of your HDB flat, I think CPF is quite useless from now on.

Now the next thing to do is to see how many hardcore gamblers are nurtured with the development of our Integrated Resorts (IR). You can prevent, but how many can you watch over? If they never admit to being addicted to gambling, there's no fucking way in hell you can assist them. *raises both middle fingers* Balls to you.

Teenage Pregnancy

On the ride home from having a midnight dinner of Pigs' Organ Soup at Jalan Besar, the words "teenage pregnancy" caught my attention while listening to "Perfect Ten" 98.7FM.

I'm not very clear about the purpose of the infomercial, as I had already missed a significant part of it by then, but I'm positive that it revolves around counselling pregnant teenagers and helping them to cope with the stress and guilt. The words that were spoken by a counsellor "We know how you feel. We know the guilt. We are here with you every step of the way." sparked a flame of fury in me...


Do these counsellors really know how young expecting mothers feel?

Unless the counsellors themselves are or have been pregnant teenagers, they are completely NOT qualified to say that they understand and they "know exactly how you feel" simply because they have NOT been in your shoes. It angers and upsets me when counsellors of any sort say that seemingly understanding/empathising phrase.

Anyone who has spoken to an elder who is giving advice will probably understand why I feel this way. They always tell you things like "I've been through what you're going through now" or "I understand your situation", but do they truly?

Everyone is brought up in a different environment, therefore causing each one to react different to the same sort of situation. In this case, for a pregnant girl who has a happy family that provides full emotional and financial support, she will be upset and feeling guilty about what she has done, but she will never have to worry about the consequences that she will have to face with her family members. She knows that she will be supported and loved no matter what. Therefore, she can choose to keep the baby, or abort it. Either way, with the full encouragement of her family.

Likewise, when the same pregnancy issue arises on a girl who has a broken family where her parents are conservatives and violent, she knows that she will not get enough support to pull herself through the situation. Even if she aborts the child, she will need financial assistance, which as a student, she will not have.

Family and peer support is very crucial to any female who has an unexpected teenage pregnancy. Maternal instincts are natural, therefore swaying her to keep the baby. Yet on the other hand, financial and responsibility issues will definitely arise in time to come if she does not have the full support of her family.


How much can counsellors do then?

Barely anything except to offer the options that the girl can choose from. Mainly the choice to keep, or abort. They cannot offer much assistance other than wisdom and clarification of the consequences that may follow the path taken. No matter what, family and friends are extremely vital to keeping the young mother sane and to make the right choice.

And unless these counsellors have gone through the exact same situation themselves, they really do not understand how hard it is to pull through. Books and knowledge will only get you that far into understanding the situation, but when you're in the middle of it all, your emotions gain control. These same emotions that have been felt so strongly are what the counsels need, and the only thing that will truly make the counsellor understand.


Will they really be there every step of the way?

Will they provide you with the money for the operation should the decision really be so? Will they be there to hold your hand when you are frightened? Will they answer the phone should you call at 3am feeling guilty and upset? How much can they do for you as a good samaritan reaching out to provide assistance? Never as much as how much your family, friends and the father of the child can do. That is for sure.


How would I know, you ask? Because, I was in that same pair of shoes 6 years ago.

what the world wants to see...

What the world wants to see are beautiful images. Paintings of ravishing beauty like the famous Mona Lisa. Photographs of scantily clad ladies with hourglass figures. Drawings of beautiful people nude. Botero has many sculptures and drawings painstakingly created from his artistic hands and mind, yet, why does his work not gain as much media and public attention? Simply because his work does not represent conventional beauty.

I received some very depressing short messages on my mobile from a very dear female friend of mine out of the blue on Monday night. She had been trying on some of her old clothes and realised that she could not fit into them any longer. She was extremely upset by it. To make things worse, her boyfriend of 3 years had been teasing her about it, making remarks at how a passing female looks so attractive with her taut body. My friend hated her current body and how she no longer looks as attractive as before. The poor girl...

I must say, she's not even as big as I am. My waist is at least 2 inches thicker than hers, and I wear one size bigger than her. Well, without a doubt, her words brought me down as well. Yet, to her, everyone is okay being "fat", except for herself. Very true indeed. The world only revolves around ourselves when it comes to looking good.

She even wanted to stop her medication because it caused water retention and bloating, which made her feel, and look, worse than ever. She had tried starving herself, and even exercising, but to no avail. She remained the same. I understood her sentiments completely as I myself suffer from a permanent bad bout of water retention and stomach bloating due to my gastric condition. Any slightest bit of food I take causes unwanted reactions in my stomach and results in a pregnant looking middle. I must admit that I hate that so much that for a long period of time, I would refuse to take any food at all so as to stay looking slim. Without saying, this worsened my gastric condition to extreme situations. I didn't care. I just wanted to look pretty.

So why is there so much emphasis on women looking svelte when men can cultivate the size of their beer bellies to gargantuan proportions? For one simple reason: Men are judged by their wallets while women are judged by their looks. Very superficial, you say? Well, look around you and tell me that is not true.

In recent years, there has been more and more attention being devoted to women's outlooks. All sorts of slimming aids, devices and services sprung up all over the world in a quest for feminine perfection. This saddens me so. The case of Slim10 causing local actress Andrea De Cruz to go through liver failure resulted in a big hoohah all over the country. Yet, did that scare women off trying to lose their "fats"? Hardly. Every month, we see new products on the shelves of pharmacies and department stores. Xando, Tummitrim, ExTrim, just to name a few.

What is the world coming to? Is a woman not attractive anymore if she has a tad more fat on her body?

This global phenomenon has brought me down to my knees. Despite my hubby's repetitive assurances of me looking hot and sexy, I still feel FAT. F-A-T. This is now the worst "F" word in any woman's dictionary. I want to slim down. I want my tummy to be flat. I want bigger breasts. Looking back 5 years ago, I thought I was perfect. That confidence that I gave myself proved alluring to men and led to many suitors who wanted to be seen with me. But came the society's nudging towards the conventional beauty of "slim".

Local artistes like Fann Wong, Jeannette Aw and Joanne Peh are all deemed as beautiful and with good figures. But why do I only see them as skinny? They have barely any breasts, no muscles anywhere and a flat bottom. What happened to the good old Marilyn Monroe curvy figure that used to make men drool? What has happened to the men's good taste?

It's the society and the media I tell you. After repeatedly telling you that Fann Wong's figure is perfect, and introducing new talents with figures similar to one another, everyone starts to think "skinny is beautiful". This is media trickery. Do not follow it blindly. If you think Jennifer Lopez looks hot. Say it out loud. There are girls like J Lo who think they're fat. And unabashedly admitting, I am one of them.

I have beautiful pert boobs, a nice round pert ass and curves in the right places. But why are there no men picking me up in clubs anymore? You have all been psycho-ed by the media. A woman should have all the assets that a woman should have. Breasts, butt and an hourglass figure. Skinny is not beautiful. It is a sign of malnutrition and inactivity of the body.

Beauty should come from within. From the confidence that one exudes. From the intelligence that one has. That is why Pamela Anderson only wins the desperate old men as her fans. She has barely any intelligence. And unless a man only wishes to bed their beatiful female and not have them as a life partner, it is quite fine to marry a bimbo. He'll probably only want to hear moaning and nothing else anyway.

No doubt every female should try to look their best, but they should NEVER resort to self-torturing methods to achieve that unfair stereotypical standard of "beauty". Everyone is born different. Some have hips, some don't. Some have boobs, some don't. Don't give in to society's desires. I know it is hard if you haven't been dated by men for ages, which just makes you want to fit in. But look at it this way, if a man won't date you because he thinks you're fat, he's shallow. And who would want to blend into a sea of bamboo-looking females? Like what I always tell my friends, in a crowd, you can always spot me. Simply because I am different.

Why girls mature faster than boys

It has been proven by that girls mature much faster than boys. Biologically speaking, this is because girls reach puberty at least 3 years before boys. Breasts and curves start to develop way before most boys had even "broken" their voices.

However, a part of my conversation with my husband on toys could prove another point why men tend to be more childish and/or naive than women. Men's toys grow into adult hobbies.

Ever thought that fiddling with remote control cars or fixing up car models were childish? Most would hardly think so, as such hobbies require patience and psycho-motor skills that some others can hardly achieve. I, for one, am completely unable to concentrate on those tiny bits of plastic and metal for 30 minutes. Let alone spend weeks to complete it.

The truth is, such hobbies are adult versions of toys that these men used to play with in their childhood. Sometimes, they are childhood desires that grow into a hobby when they start working and are finally able to purchase their own entertainment.

Women, on the other hand, do not have toys as such for them to "grow into". In fact, many girls' toys are mimics of adult women's lifestyles. Pretend make-up, plastic or plush pets, doll replicas of babies, playing dress up, "cooking" with kitchen sets, etc. When these girls grow up, they ease themselves into the actual thing that they have been playing pretend for throughout their childhood. Applying real make-up, having real pets that require time and affection, preparing edible meals instead of plastic vegetables and becoming mothers and having children.

In other words, girls' toys prepare them for the adult life waiting right ahead, whereas boys' toys are just, well, toys. Most of them serve little purpose in priming them for the life of a full-fledged adult male. Therefore, when they start to have buying power, males continue to indulge in their childhood interests such as model cars while females buy accessories to beautify themselves.

So, the next time you buy toys for a kid, be careful what you eventually decide on. YOU could have a part to play in the kid's future!


** Disclaimer: The above post strictly represent the blogger's own views, and does not include any scientific or pyschological research whatsoever. **