Teenage Pregnancy

On the ride home from having a midnight dinner of Pigs' Organ Soup at Jalan Besar, the words "teenage pregnancy" caught my attention while listening to "Perfect Ten" 98.7FM.

I'm not very clear about the purpose of the infomercial, as I had already missed a significant part of it by then, but I'm positive that it revolves around counselling pregnant teenagers and helping them to cope with the stress and guilt. The words that were spoken by a counsellor "We know how you feel. We know the guilt. We are here with you every step of the way." sparked a flame of fury in me...


Do these counsellors really know how young expecting mothers feel?

Unless the counsellors themselves are or have been pregnant teenagers, they are completely NOT qualified to say that they understand and they "know exactly how you feel" simply because they have NOT been in your shoes. It angers and upsets me when counsellors of any sort say that seemingly understanding/empathising phrase.

Anyone who has spoken to an elder who is giving advice will probably understand why I feel this way. They always tell you things like "I've been through what you're going through now" or "I understand your situation", but do they truly?

Everyone is brought up in a different environment, therefore causing each one to react different to the same sort of situation. In this case, for a pregnant girl who has a happy family that provides full emotional and financial support, she will be upset and feeling guilty about what she has done, but she will never have to worry about the consequences that she will have to face with her family members. She knows that she will be supported and loved no matter what. Therefore, she can choose to keep the baby, or abort it. Either way, with the full encouragement of her family.

Likewise, when the same pregnancy issue arises on a girl who has a broken family where her parents are conservatives and violent, she knows that she will not get enough support to pull herself through the situation. Even if she aborts the child, she will need financial assistance, which as a student, she will not have.

Family and peer support is very crucial to any female who has an unexpected teenage pregnancy. Maternal instincts are natural, therefore swaying her to keep the baby. Yet on the other hand, financial and responsibility issues will definitely arise in time to come if she does not have the full support of her family.


How much can counsellors do then?

Barely anything except to offer the options that the girl can choose from. Mainly the choice to keep, or abort. They cannot offer much assistance other than wisdom and clarification of the consequences that may follow the path taken. No matter what, family and friends are extremely vital to keeping the young mother sane and to make the right choice.

And unless these counsellors have gone through the exact same situation themselves, they really do not understand how hard it is to pull through. Books and knowledge will only get you that far into understanding the situation, but when you're in the middle of it all, your emotions gain control. These same emotions that have been felt so strongly are what the counsels need, and the only thing that will truly make the counsellor understand.


Will they really be there every step of the way?

Will they provide you with the money for the operation should the decision really be so? Will they be there to hold your hand when you are frightened? Will they answer the phone should you call at 3am feeling guilty and upset? How much can they do for you as a good samaritan reaching out to provide assistance? Never as much as how much your family, friends and the father of the child can do. That is for sure.


How would I know, you ask? Because, I was in that same pair of shoes 6 years ago.